God is in control

Why is it so hard for me to believe that God is in control? I mean, I know that the Earth keeps revolving and everything even when I feel like falling apart, but still I question God's ways so often. I don't think I'm a control freak, but I guess most control freaks probably don't think they are, either :). I love traveling, and I love excitement, I just get scared when it comes to too much adventure, too much not knowing and too many surprises- I really like to feel like I'm prepared for whichever situation I'm walking into. But that's not how it necessarily always works with Jesus. His ways ARE HIGHER than my ways. So, even though I don't know what I'm going to be doing next year, or even where I'll be, I know that Jesus is my Shepherd. He is faithful. He has always led me, and even when I don't FEEL it, He is there. Leading, guiding, nudging, disciplining, protecting, comforting, and loving me. I guess my loneliness at times allows for His sweet companionship- and that really is what I need most, even though I tend to run when I feel confused or frustrated. His faithful love makes me run right back.