Rockstar Status? Part 4

So, how do we really change these things? How do we prevent these things from happening, and how do we respond healthily when they do? I think some places to start are to:
1. Create accountability structures. I’m not talking about “boy’s club” accountability with the snickers and pats on the back and “oh it’s no big deal”, but I’m talking about all of us having friends, colleagues and leaders who we can be our authentic selves with. I think we need to be able to actually talk about what’s really going on in our lives and not live paralyzed with fear of being figured out. I think we need to be able to wrestle with things that are difficult and “hush-hush” and actually be able to hash them out, instead of just talking about talking about things. . . someday. 
2. Promote grace. I think we should be lavish, extravagant and radical with the grace we give and open and loving with grace and couple it with TRUTH. I think we should start with grace and give people permission to make mistakes as they’re starting out, so they don’t think they’re infallible (or that their mentors and leaders think they’re infallible themselves), and learn how to deal with disappointments and conflict.
3. Prioritize. It’s not “me and my ministry first.” I honestly believe it should be God first, marriage relationship second, family next, and then ministry. If the hype and busyness of ministry are keeping us from the essential relationship with Christ Himself and from the relationship of marriage (if you are married), then our priorities must be immediately realigned. Take a personal retreat, go on a romantic getaway, talk with mentors and friends (tell them what is going on), go see a counselor (if you aren’t already) and cry out for wisdom (you won’t be denied!).
4. Walk In The Light. Some examples: tell your story, have a group to support you, have others share their stories of struggle and God’s faithfulness publicly, remind yourself that you have feet of clay.
5. Forgive. Work on forgiving other people who you know have been contributors to your brokenness. Remember that God is a God of restoration, repair and reconciliation. Pray for forgiveness from others, and ask for God’s forgiveness and help to be transformed. None of us are good at being Christlike when left to our own defenses; if it’s difficult to repent, pray for conviction and the Holy Spirit to give remorse to the heart, in order that we may start again and turn around.
6. Cling to the Source. I don’t want to go a day without asking for God’s available new mercies, and I don’t want to take them for granted. God is the Source of my life, and I don’t want to forget that He is my Maker, the Creator of my dreams and the Deliverer of them and me. I can sometimes get away with going spurts of time without clinging to Jesus, and I always end up as someone I don’t want to be—restless, empty, tired, looking for cheap substitutes for the most vital relationship and connection I have, the connection with Jesus. I need to have patience and trust God as the ultimate promoter in whichever way He chooses and pleases. I don’t need to look around every corner for approval and attention and love, God is my affirmation and if that isn’t enough for me I need Him to remind me and help (pretty much all the time).

Blessings! My prayers and love are with all of you. May we walk forward in humility and God’s strength, not our own.

Rockstar Status? Part 3

I am not trying to blame here, but I am agreeing with many others who have stated that “something must change.” I notice that not only are all of the above-mentioned “(temporarily) fallen ones” in ministry; but many of them come from ministry homes and are children of pastors. I have to be honest, I know that pastor’s homes can be healthy (I grew up in an imperfect and “increasingly functional”  one myself), but they can also be places of tremendous shame and pressure, where the mode of operation is to simply hide and disguise most weaknesses, and put the best face (or façade) forward—no matter what the cost. I have walked with many people who have come to places of extreme misery trying to deal with “undoing” the cycle of a ministry/home/lifestyle that centers around performance and ratings and always being completely “put together” for the crowds (and I know that this pressure isn’t completely unique to ministry homes by any means, but it is also seen to an extreme and unacceptable degree in many of these ministry homes). I have seen these people walk with the shame of being imperfect, and having momentous failures that they thought they must keep hidden at all costs, and living that way itself was the greatest cost. They became charmers and deceivers to many and lived in constant fear of being exposed for who they truly were: extremely broken individuals who paraded around as the “power-players” in their circles and spheres of influence—many would be shocked and appalled to know what has happened in their lives behind closed doors (not that we all haven’t sinned and fallen short).

I share these things not as a rebuke at all, but as a broken person giving a wake-up call and caution. Church is not about a production, it’s not about numbers, and it’s not even about being perfect. It’s about being authentic with one another, supporting one another, loving, sacrificing, being humble, having fun, living our ordinary lives (without the paranoia of being ineffective) for the extraordinary calling of following and knowing Jesus above all else. If we take up our crosses to follow a call of “full-time vocational ministry” in some way, we have to also count the cost. We’ve had a long history in the world that has tried to make mankind the main focus of everything, but let’s not forget that God is the focus and the actual “star” of our stories. It’s not about our fame or acclaim, it’s about Him looking good at the end of the day. Character really does trump charisma although it may not look like it for a season. I’m realizing the importance of it, and asking God to examine my heart and my selfish desires (even if they are to make Him famous, sometimes I still, deep down, want the “perks”) and to keep my heart focused on Him and not on the applause-o-meter of others.

Rockstar Status? Part 2

I realize I have this same propensity—sometimes I want to allow myself to be caught up into Christian stardom with the structures and hierarchies we create: “this person is influential and important.” “this person’s church isn’t big enough.” “they always were just different.” And I am somewhat on the “inside” (well, as being a minister myself) of the evangelical culture so I have fallen prey to the notion that significance for God’s Kingdom is only assessed and assigned through human opinion and affirmation. I have seen great devastation in this outlandish attention-getting display of antics that we sometimes call “a great move of God.” I don’t think God needs our press. I think we become dangerous when we believe our own press. And I have seen that proved true time and time and time again. Just look at recent headlines, people like Todd Bentley and Mike Guglielmucci, and before them Tedd Haggard and before him Jimmy Swaggart, Marvin Gorman and Jim Bakker and before them Aimee Semple McPherson and countless others have had major moral breakdowns that have gone very public.

I am not proud when I think that the organization that I’m affiliated with has been the same association as the majority of those, and closely connected with the few that weren’t the exact same association of churches. The Evangelical Christian community seems to have quite the inclination towards allowing this to happen. And the stories of the above aren’t the only ones—there are too many to mention, stories of local Christian School principals sexually abusing vulnerable teen girls, stories of local pastors carrying on inappropriate relations with minors, stories of families ravaged by the media feast of illicit conduct of ministers. It puts the fear of God in me; there are also situations that hit much, much closer to home. I have had to deal with my share of personal heartache by being let down by someone pursuing ministry whom I trusted and by whom I was harshly betrayed (and who for a long time hid deep, painful secrets) and I know of a dozen more stories of others who have been severely wounded by some in and some pursuing ministry whose lives didn’t quite match up with what they publicly touted. And my heart is broken that it keeps happening.

Rockstar Status? Part 1

Set the stage, dim the lights, and then spotlight, cue fog, cue miracles . . . and the crowd goes wild! But why?

I think the temptation has become much too great to achieve "Rockstar Status" in the church, and somehow, our structures allow for this and even encourage this behavior that is reflective of some of Jesus' original followers: Peter, James and John. In Mark 9, these guys (brothers James and John, and also Peter) had gotten the inside scoop- they saw Jesus talking with Moses and Elijah (two heroes of the faith from the Old Testament), and heard God speak about how pleased He was with Jesus and how He asked for their devotion and attention. The first thing these two dudes want to do after that is to build some kind of shelter and monument of commemoration (hello, doesn’t anyone remember what happened when Aaron led the people to do that same thing “Let’s just build this golden calf, a beautiful idol to show what God has done,” when Moses was up on the mountain receiving the 10 Commandments?!), they don’t really understand the gravity of the moment and they just want to make it into something “cool” and something they can easily explain and show off to others.

The very next time their names are mentioned in the Scriptures (in Mark 10) here’s what they’re essentially asking: “Hey, Jesus, can we please be the ones to sit next to You in the VIP Room when we get to Heaven?” They wanted to be on the right and left hand of His throne in glory. Pretty presumptuous if you ask me!  Jesus’ response to them strikes me every time I read it: “You don’t know what you’re asking Me. Do you really want to share the baptism (being fully immersed) in my suffering, which is the key requirement in sharing in my glory? The things you’re asking aren’t even for me to determine, follow my ways . . . know God, ask Him.” *Matthew gives a similar account, where their mom asks the same question they asked, and He gives the same powerful response: “Woman, you don’t know what you’re asking Me for.”

Was the Kingdom of God ever meant to be built for man to receive the glory?