Rockstar Status? Part 3

I am not trying to blame here, but I am agreeing with many others who have stated that “something must change.” I notice that not only are all of the above-mentioned “(temporarily) fallen ones” in ministry; but many of them come from ministry homes and are children of pastors. I have to be honest, I know that pastor’s homes can be healthy (I grew up in an imperfect and “increasingly functional”  one myself), but they can also be places of tremendous shame and pressure, where the mode of operation is to simply hide and disguise most weaknesses, and put the best face (or façade) forward—no matter what the cost. I have walked with many people who have come to places of extreme misery trying to deal with “undoing” the cycle of a ministry/home/lifestyle that centers around performance and ratings and always being completely “put together” for the crowds (and I know that this pressure isn’t completely unique to ministry homes by any means, but it is also seen to an extreme and unacceptable degree in many of these ministry homes). I have seen these people walk with the shame of being imperfect, and having momentous failures that they thought they must keep hidden at all costs, and living that way itself was the greatest cost. They became charmers and deceivers to many and lived in constant fear of being exposed for who they truly were: extremely broken individuals who paraded around as the “power-players” in their circles and spheres of influence—many would be shocked and appalled to know what has happened in their lives behind closed doors (not that we all haven’t sinned and fallen short).

I share these things not as a rebuke at all, but as a broken person giving a wake-up call and caution. Church is not about a production, it’s not about numbers, and it’s not even about being perfect. It’s about being authentic with one another, supporting one another, loving, sacrificing, being humble, having fun, living our ordinary lives (without the paranoia of being ineffective) for the extraordinary calling of following and knowing Jesus above all else. If we take up our crosses to follow a call of “full-time vocational ministry” in some way, we have to also count the cost. We’ve had a long history in the world that has tried to make mankind the main focus of everything, but let’s not forget that God is the focus and the actual “star” of our stories. It’s not about our fame or acclaim, it’s about Him looking good at the end of the day. Character really does trump charisma although it may not look like it for a season. I’m realizing the importance of it, and asking God to examine my heart and my selfish desires (even if they are to make Him famous, sometimes I still, deep down, want the “perks”) and to keep my heart focused on Him and not on the applause-o-meter of others.